A memory care community can look lovely and still be the wrong fit. What matters most is harder to see on a guided tour: how staff talk to residents, how they handle distress, whether people are engaged or just supervised, and how the community will care for your parent as dementia changes.
This checklist is organized by topic. Take it with you, and take notes. For general tour tips, see our guide to touring senior living.
Before you visit
- Write down your parent's needs: stage of dementia, wandering, behaviors, mobility, diet, sleep, health conditions.
- Note what calms and engages them: music, routines, pets, faith, favorite foods.
- Check the license, including any dementia care license your state requires, and recent inspection reports. Our guide to checking a license shows how.
- Ask for the residency agreement, price list, activity calendar and menu in advance.
- Plan to visit around a meal and again in the late afternoon.
Safety and the environment
- Are exits secured in a way that feels calm, not prison-like?
- Is there a safe outdoor space residents can use freely?
- Is the layout simple, with clear paths, good lighting and few dead ends?
- Are there cues to help residents find their rooms and bathrooms, such as photos or memory boxes?
- Is it quiet enough, without blaring TVs or overhead announcements?
- Is it clean and free of odors?
The Alzheimer's Association suggests checking whether indoor and outdoor areas are safe, secure and monitored, and whether the setting is easy to get around1.
Staff and dementia training
- How many residents live in the memory care area, and how many staff are on duty day, evening and night?
- What dementia training does each staff member get before starting, and how often is it refreshed?
- Are housekeeping, dining and maintenance staff trained in dementia too?
- Do residents have consistent caregivers?
- How long have most care staff worked here?
- Who oversees care in the unit? Is there a nurse, and when?
Our article on memory care staff training explains what states typically require and what to look for.
Read moreMemory Care Staff Training: What Families Should Look For
Behaviors and wandering
- How do staff respond when a resident is upset, aggressive or refuses care?
- How do you handle wandering and exit-seeking?
- How do you help residents who are restless in the late afternoon or awake at night?
- How and when do you use medicines for behavior, and how are families involved in those decisions?
- Are residents ever asked to leave because of behaviors? What would lead to that?
Good answers focus on understanding causes, like pain, hunger, boredom or noise, and on calm redirection2.
Daily life and activities
- Can I see today's schedule? Are activities happening now, and are residents taking part?
- Are activities offered throughout the day, including evenings and weekends?
- Are there options for different stages: music, art, exercise, sensory activities, simple tasks?
- Do staff learn each resident's life story, habits and preferences?
- Can residents keep their own routines, like sleeping in or a late breakfast?
See person-centered dementia care and memory care activities for what good programs look like.
Meals and eating
- Join a meal. Do staff help residents who need it, patiently and with dignity?
- Are finger foods, adapted utensils or soft diets available?
- How do you track weight and make sure residents eat and drink enough?
- Are snacks and drinks available all day?
Health care
- How are medicines managed and given?
- Do doctors, nurse practitioners or therapists visit?
- How do you handle falls, illness and hospital visits? Does a staff member go along?
- Can hospice care be provided here?
- What care needs can you not meet as dementia progresses, and when would a move be needed?
Family involvement
- How often are care plan meetings held, and can family attend?
- How will you contact me about changes, incidents or concerns?
- Are there visiting hours, or can families come any time?
- Is there a family support group or council?
You can also contact your local long-term care ombudsman, who advocates for residents and can share how to raise concerns3.
Costs and contracts
- What does the monthly rate include? What costs extra?
- How are care levels set and how often are they reassessed?
- How much notice do you give for price increases?
- Do you accept long-term care insurance, VA benefits or Medicaid?
- What happens if my parent's money runs out?
- What are the move-out and discharge rules?
See how to pay for memory care and our memory care costs guide.
What to watch for on the tour
| Encouraging signs | Warning signs |
|---|---|
| Staff kneel or sit to talk at eye level | Staff talk over residents or about them |
| Residents engaged in activities | Many residents asleep or alone |
| Calm redirection of a confused resident | Rushed, impatient or rough handling |
| Clear answers about staffing at night | Vague answers or reluctance to say |
| Residents look clean and cared for | Odors, stained clothes, unanswered call lights |
