You stop by at two in the afternoon and your father is asleep in his chair again. He naps after breakfast, after lunch and in front of the evening news, then says he slept badly. It's tempting to think this is just what happens with age. Often, it isn't.
The National Institute on Aging says older adults need about the same amount of sleep as all adults, seven to nine hours a night. Older people do tend to go to bed and wake up earlier, but if someone is always sleepy, it may be time to talk with a doctor1. This guide explains what's normal, the common causes of sleeping a lot, the signs that need prompt attention, and practical ways to help a parent feel more rested and awake.
What's normal sleep in later life
Sleep does change with age. Older adults often get sleepy earlier in the evening and wake earlier in the morning. Sleep tends to be lighter, with more brief awakenings during the night12. A short nap in the early afternoon is common and usually harmless.
What isn't a normal part of aging is needing much more total sleep, dozing off through most of the day, or waking up tired no matter how long your parent was in bed. If you wake up tired, feel easily annoyed, or have trouble falling or staying asleep, those can be signs of poor sleep, and poor sleep over time can raise the risk of high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes1.
Common reasons an older adult sleeps a lot
Daytime sleepiness usually has a cause, and often more than one. These are the ones families and doctors check most often:
- Poor sleep at night. Pain, getting up to urinate, restless legs, heartburn or a noisy, hot or bright bedroom can break up sleep, leaving a parent drowsy all day2.
- Sleep apnea. Breathing that stops and starts during sleep causes many tiny awakenings. Loud snoring, gasping at night and heavy daytime sleepiness are clues3.
- Medicines. Sleep aids, allergy medicines, some pain medicines, anxiety and depression medicines, and others can cause drowsiness, especially when several are combined4.
- Depression. Sleeping much more, or much less, is a common sign of depression in older adults. Our guide to depression in the elderly covers the other signs.
- Boredom and inactivity. Long days with little to do, little daylight and little movement make napping easy and nights restless. Isolation plays a part too.
- Illness. Infections, heart failure, lung disease, thyroid problems, anemia and kidney problems can all cause tiredness.
- Not eating or drinking enough. Low energy from poor nutrition, or from dehydration, can look like sleepiness. If meals are being skipped too, see when an elderly parent isn't eating.
- Dementia. Dementia can disrupt the body clock, so a person sleeps during the day and is awake or restless at night. Sleeping more often becomes common in later stages.
When sleeping a lot is a warning sign
Some changes need a doctor soon, and some need help right away. Call the doctor promptly if your parent:
- Is sleeping much more than usual over days or a few weeks, without a clear reason.
- Has started a new medicine or changed a dose recently.
- Snores loudly, gasps or stops breathing for moments during sleep.
- Is eating or drinking much less, or losing weight.
- Seems low, withdrawn or hopeless.
A sudden change is different. Drowsiness that comes on over hours or a day or two, especially with confusion, may be delirium, which can be caused by infection, dehydration, medicines or other illness5. In older adults, a urinary tract infection is one common trigger. Low blood counts can cause fatigue; see anemia in the elderly.
What the doctor may check
Before the visit, keep a simple sleep diary for a week or two: when your parent goes to bed, roughly when they fall asleep, how often they wake, when they get up, and when and how long they nap. Note snoring, caffeine, alcohol and evening screen time. Doctors often find a diary more helpful than a general "he sleeps all the time"2.
Bring every medicine, including over-the-counter sleep aids and allergy pills. The doctor may change timing or doses, check blood work for problems such as anemia or thyroid disease, screen for depression, and refer your parent for a sleep study if sleep apnea or another sleep disorder seems likely63. Sleep apnea is treatable, and treating it can make a big difference in daytime alertness.
Everyday ways to help a parent sleep better at night
Better nights usually mean more awake days. The National Institute on Aging suggests these habits for a good night's sleep2:
- Keep a steady schedule. Going to bed and getting up at the same times every day, weekends included, steadies the body clock.
- Get daylight and movement. Time outdoors in the morning and some physical activity during the day support sleep at night. Exercise shouldn't be too close to bedtime.
- Limit late naps. If your parent naps, keep it short and early in the afternoon.
- Watch caffeine and alcohol. Avoid caffeine late in the day. Alcohol may make people drowsy but disrupts sleep later in the night.
- Make the bedroom comfortable. A cool, dark, quiet room, a comfortable mattress and a night light on the way to the bathroom for safety.
- Build a wind-down routine. A warm bath, reading or music, and screens off well before bed.
- Don't lie awake for long. If sleep doesn't come after about 20 minutes, get up, do something quiet and return when sleepy.
Be careful with over-the-counter sleep aids. Many contain antihistamines that can cause next-day grogginess and confusion in older adults4. Ask the doctor or pharmacist before using them.
Filling the day so sleep can wait for night
Many older adults nap because there's little else pulling them through the day. Structure helps: a morning walk, a standing coffee date, chores they can still do, a class, volunteering, or regular calls and visits. An adult day program offers activities, meals and company for a set number of hours, which can reset a sleepy routine and give a caregiver a break. Many senior centers also offer exercise classes, shared meals and outings that give the week a rhythm.
Even small anchors make a difference. Open the curtains first thing, eat meals at the table rather than in the recliner, and plan one activity in the late morning and one in the afternoon, when napping is most tempting.
Staying safe when your parent is drowsy
Heavy sleepiness brings practical risks. A parent who is groggy is more likely to fall, especially when getting up quickly from a bed or chair or walking to the bathroom at night. Encourage them to sit on the edge of the bed for a moment before standing, keep a clear, lit path to the bathroom, and keep a phone or alert device within reach.
Drowsiness and driving don't mix. If your parent nods off during the day, gently raise whether it's safe for them to drive until the cause is found and treated. The same goes for cooking: a timer, an automatic shut-off device or doing the cooking together can prevent a pot left on the stove.
Finally, think about medicines. A parent who is sleepy may miss doses or take them twice. A pill organizer, a set routine or a check-in call at medicine times can help until things settle.
Sleep changes in dementia
Dementia often scrambles sleep. A parent may doze through the day, then be awake, restless or confused in the evening and at night. Late-day confusion and agitation are called sundowning; our guide to sundowning explains the triggers and what helps. Daylight in the morning, regular activity, a calm evening routine and limiting long naps help many people.
In the later stages of dementia, sleeping much of the day is common as the disease progresses. If your parent's sleep increases sharply, mention it to the doctor so other causes can be ruled out.
When sleeping more is part of the end of life
Near the end of a serious illness, people often sleep more and more, and eat and drink less. This is a natural part of the body slowing down, not something to fight. If your parent is seriously ill and sleeping most of the time, ask the doctor or a hospice team whether this is part of that process. Our guide to end-of-life signs explains what to expect and how to keep your parent comfortable.
Looking after your own sleep
If your parent is up at night, you probably are too. Caregiver sleep loss builds up quickly and makes everything harder. Share night duty if you can, use respite care so you can catch up on rest, and talk with your own doctor if you're running on empty. If nights at home are no longer safe or manageable, it may be time to look at options with overnight staff, and many families start by weighing what kind of support at night would make the biggest difference.
