You've been taking care of your mother for two years. Friends ask how she's doing, but rarely how you're doing. You've stopped going out because it's easier than explaining. A support group might seem like one more thing on the calendar, but for many caregivers it becomes the one hour a week that's theirs.
This guide uses information from the Administration for Community Living, the Alzheimer's Association, the Family Caregiver Alliance and VA. It's general information to help you find support.
Why support groups help
Support groups offer things friends and family often can't: people in the same situation, practical tips from those a few steps ahead, and a place to say hard things without being judged. Many caregivers say the biggest benefit is learning they aren't alone, and that what they're feeling, from grief to resentment to guilt, is common.
The federal National Family Caregiver Support Program funds support groups as one of its core services, alongside counseling, training and respite1. ACL says studies have shown these services can reduce caregiver depression, anxiety and stress, and help caregivers provide care longer1. If stress is building, see caregiver burnout.
Types of caregiver support groups
- General caregiver groups. For anyone caring for an older adult, whatever the condition.
- Condition-specific groups. Dementia, Parkinson's, stroke, cancer, heart failure. These share disease-specific tips. See Parkinson's care.
- Groups for specific caregivers. Adult children, spouses, LGBTQ+ caregivers, or caregivers of people with younger-onset dementia23.
- Grief and bereavement groups. Often offered by hospice programs, for caregivers after a loss or during a long goodbye. See what hospice provides.
- Online groups and message boards. Available any time, helpful when you can't leave home43.
Groups can be led by trained peers, who are often former caregivers, or by professionals such as social workers. The Alzheimer's Association says its groups are facilitated by trained individuals and include both peer-led and professionally led options2.
Where to find a group
- Call your Area Agency on Aging. The Eldercare Locator can connect you with your local agency, which can point you to caregiver programs, including support groups funded through the National Family Caregiver Support Program51.
- For dementia, contact the Alzheimer's Association. Its local chapters list in-person and virtual groups, including groups for early-stage and younger-onset dementia, and its 24/7 Helpline can help you find one26.
- Check disease organizations. Groups for Parkinson's, stroke, cancer and other conditions are often listed by national organizations and local hospitals.
- Ask your parent's care team. Hospitals, rehab centers, hospices and memory care communities often host family groups or know of local ones.
- Ask places of worship and community centers. Many run caregiver groups or can connect you.
- Look online. The Family Caregiver Alliance hosts online support groups and a caregiver community3; the Alzheimer's Association runs ALZConnected, a free online community4.
Online vs. in person
In-person groups offer face-to-face connection and a reason to leave the house. Online groups fit around a caregiver's schedule, help those in rural areas, and let you take part while your parent naps.
| In person | Video group | Message board | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Schedule | Set time and place | Set time, from home | Any time |
| Connection | Strongest | Strong | Varies |
| Needs respite to attend? | Often | Sometimes | No |
| Good for | Local resources, friendships | Busy or rural caregivers | Late-night questions |
General comparison; specific groups vary.
The Family Caregiver Alliance's online group runs by email, with messages sent one at a time or as a daily digest3. ALZConnected lets caregivers, family and people living with dementia ask questions and share advice4. Some people use both kinds of groups.
What to expect at your first meeting
Most groups start with introductions: your name, who you care for, and a sentence about how things are going. You don't have to share more than you want. Many people just listen the first time. If you're nervous, it can help to arrive a few minutes early and introduce yourself to the facilitator, or to bring a sibling or friend who shares the caregiving. A facilitator usually keeps the conversation moving and makes sure everyone who wants to speak gets a turn.
Groups usually expect confidentiality: what's said in the room stays there. Some invite occasional speakers, like an elder law attorney or a nurse, and some are purely conversation. It's normal to feel emotional; many people do the first time they hear their own story in someone else's words.
How to tell if a group is right for you
- You leave feeling a little lighter, or with one useful idea.
- The facilitator keeps things balanced, so one person doesn't dominate and the tone stays supportive.
- Members are in a similar situation. A spouse group may feel different from an adult-child group.
- It's not a sales pitch. Be cautious with groups that push products or services. The Family Caregiver Alliance, for example, prohibits solicitations in its groups3.
- The timing works. A group you can't get to won't help.
If a group leaves you more anxious, for example because members are far ahead in a disease and you're not ready to hear it, try another, or come back to it later. Some caregivers stay with one group for years; others drop in during hard stretches. Both are fine.
Common worries about joining
- "I don't have time." An online group or message board can fit into ten minutes at night4. Many caregivers find an hour of support saves time later, because they pick up shortcuts and avoid mistakes others have already made.
- "I'm not a group person." Listening counts. So does a one-on-one conversation with another caregiver, which some groups can arrange.
- "It will be depressing." Groups do talk about hard things, but there's often a lot of laughter too, and practical problem-solving.
- "My situation isn't bad enough." There's no threshold. Early support often prevents a crisis.
- "I'll feel guilty complaining." Saying how hard caregiving is doesn't mean you love your parent less. Groups are a place where that's understood.
If privacy is a worry, ask about the group's confidentiality expectations before you go, and share only what you're comfortable with.
Support when your parent lives in a community
Caregiving doesn't end when a parent moves to assisted living, memory care or a nursing home. Many families feel guilt, grief and worry about the quality of care, and still spend hours visiting and advocating. Some communities host family support groups or family councils, where relatives meet to share concerns and raise issues with staff. Nursing homes must allow residents' families to form a family group, and must listen to its views7. If your parent has recently moved, see moving a parent to senior living and nursing home resident rights.
If there's no group nearby
In a small town, you may not find a group that fits. Your Area Agency on Aging or a local Alzheimer's Association chapter may be able to help you start one. A library, place of worship or senior center may provide a room. Even an informal monthly coffee with two or three other caregivers you meet at the doctor's office or adult day program can make a difference. Meanwhile, video groups and online communities can fill the gap34.
Making time to attend
The hardest part is often getting out of the house. A sibling, friend or paid aide can cover an hour. Some adult day programs and memory care communities host caregiver groups while the person with dementia joins an activity nearby. Respite services funded through the National Family Caregiver Support Program may also help1. See respite care and adult day care. If you work, see FMLA to care for a parent for your leave rights.
Support beyond groups
Groups are one piece of support. Individual counseling, caregiver training and respite are also part of the National Family Caregiver Support Program1. If you're struggling with depression or anxiety, talk with your own doctor; caregivers' health matters too. The Alzheimer's Association Helpline is free and open 24/7 for dementia caregivers6. For a long-distance caregiver, online groups can connect you with others managing from afar; see long-distance caregiving.
Groups for dementia caregivers
Dementia caregivers often benefit most from groups focused on dementia, because the challenges are specific: sundowning, repeated questions, accusations, and decisions about memory care. The Alzheimer's Association offers specialized groups for adult caregivers, people with early-stage or younger-onset dementia, and children2. Some groups also welcome the person living with dementia in the early stage.
An example
Marcus, 54, cared for his father with Lewy body dementia and felt nobody understood the hallucinations and sudden swings. He found a dementia caregiver group through his local Alzheimer's Association chapter that met on video Tuesday evenings. Other members shared what had worked with nighttime confusion and how they'd handled hospital stays. Six months later, a member told him about a memory care community that worked well for her mother, and Marcus started touring. This is an illustration; every group and family is different.
Next steps
Make one call this week: your Area Agency on Aging or, for dementia, the Alzheimer's Association. Try a group twice before deciding. If caregiving is getting to be too much, our senior living guide and the care quiz can help you look at what level of help would fit your parent now.
